Dating apps are all in on AI, whether users want it or not

If you ask dating app users, they’ll say they want an experience that feels more human. If you ask dating app companies, the solution is adding robots to the mix.

Companies like Bumble, Grindr, and Tinder and Hinge owner Match Group are all working toward incorporating artificial intelligence into their platforms.

But there’s mounting research that users have a negative perception of AI encroaching on their dating life. At the same time, running groups have emerged as a dating app alternative, and event-based “friendship apps” that get people together for group conversation have taken off.

A recent survey by Boston University found that most respondents, especially women, are skeptical of AI in dating apps. Users are already skeptical of the algorithms dating apps use to present users with potential matches, a 2023 survey from Pew Research Center found. And with good reason: their algorithms were more likely to show you people who are popular on the app rather than those who are compatible with you specifically, according to a 2023 study by Carnegie Mellon University.

“For an end user looking for a relationship, AI feels like this kind of weird third party,” said Kathryn Coduto, a Boston University professor who studies online dating. “It’s not the friend of a friend, it’s this weird robot in the middle.” 

AI might have more rizz than you do

I sympathize with the majority of people who are turned off by the idea of introducing even more technology to a process that already looks nothing like the meet-cute moments sold to us in movies. But the AI products closest to being implemented are a bit more practical than they sound.

Match Group, for one, has said it will introduce features that help users select photos from their camera roll to include in their profile or help them brainstorm something interesting to say for a first message. Coduto said a common sentiment among dating app users is that they don’t want to put in effort for a witty or creative first message, but they would like to receive one.

In other words, nobody knows what to do with a simple “hey” message on a dating app, but at the same time, few people could be bothered to analyze their match’s profile to find something interesting to say. (See below: ask her about her plants! Why didn’t I think of that...)

LGBT+ dating app Grindr recently started testing its AI Wingman with 10,000 users late last year and has said its release is ahead of schedule. The product, powered by Amazon Web Services, helps users think of witty responses and suggests profiles to interact with, among other things. For those unfamiliar, Grindr uses a grid interface where all users in a given vicinity can message each other and is more hookup oriented than Tinder or Hinge.

A Wired writer who tested the product said it gave information and advice about fisting and other kinks — topics that most chatbots are designed not to engage with — though it pushed back on his sexual advances, saying it would rather keep things “PG-13.” (Falling in love with a chatbot is not outside the realm of possibility.) The AI Wingman was generally a value add, Wired concluded.

“Grindr’s approach to AI isn’t about replacing human interaction — it’s about facilitating better conversations, deeper connections, and ultimately, more real-world success in dating,” a Grindr spokesperson told Sherwood News.

As opposed to its heterosexual peers, Grindr is still reporting growth. It benefits from user base that’s easier to monetize: gay men earn more money on average, stay single later in life, and are less likely to be monogamous if they are taken.

OK, but will AI make dating apps more profitable?

Even if AI does improve the experience, it’s unclear whether that will translate to more paying users.

A big problem with dating apps’ business model is that having a fantastic product and monetizing it are fundamentally opposing goalposts. A dating app that’s really good at fulfilling its purpose ultimately loses a customer, or at the very least, quickly gets them off the platform and in front of a human.

It’s a tough nut to crack. Match Group and Bumble have struggled to grow their revenue, and investors are starting to lose patience. Both have been in the “throw spaghetti at the wall” phase for a couple years now, which has included leadership shuffles.

“Dating apps are interesting because so often, more than many other industries, the investors and the end users are looking for the opposite things,” Coduto said.