Lulu unveils sneakers, shampoo, "sweatlife"

The FTC would like a word with Zuck... The social network is expecting a gigantic fine ($3B-$5B) from the Federal Trade Commission for violating users' privacy by hooking up Cambridge Analytica with data. Facebook's profits fell 51% because it's prepping the legal splurge account with $3B right now.

Zucks fly together... Investor bandwidth focused on a bunch of big tech earnings that all seemed to arrive together:

✍️ Facebook: Its core business of filling your newsfeed with shockingly on-point ads did well (sales rose 26%) and daily users rose 8%. Shares jumped 7% despite the huge looming fine.

🦄 Microsoft: Welcome back to the Platinum Platypus club, Microsoft. The OG tech giant is worth over $1T again courtesy of a 41% jump in cloud computing sales. Even throwback Windows was up 9%.

⚡️ Tesla: We already knew its 1st quarter car deliveries struggled, but its loss was twice as big as analysts expected. Elon promises it will make money the next three quarters, but it's down to just $2.2B in cash in the bank.

No time for shavasana... Lululemon was busy revealing its 5-year strategic plan, heroically christened “The Power of Three.” It began with a humble brag ("we've already delivered on several 2020 goals") and then focused on three big new ones — two are huge, one is surprising:

1. "Product innovation": Lulu's designing its own sneakers this year and expanding its khaki-infused office/travel/commute wear.
2. "Market expansion": Double its men's business (see khaki reference above), double online sales, and quadruple international sales. Ambitious.
3. "Omniguest experience": This one intrigued us. More below.

"Sweatlife" is why you athleisure... Lulu's calling us "guests" instead of customers. The omniguest element of its master plan is about transforming beyond stretchy cloth into “an experiential brand for people living the sweatlife.” Sweatlife looks like this:

• Lulu shampoo, deodorant, moisturizer, and other self-care bathroom shelf-stuffers through partnerships (SoulCyle is partner #1).
• A new 25K-square-foot mega-store in Chicago with meditation space, yoga studios, and a juice bar. It's so big you'll lose yourself (and then find yourself).

Extra cheese... Despite vicious competition, Domino's quarterly sales still rose 4%. But the highlight was new CEO Ritch Allison defending the chain's contrarian delivery strategy: Domino's handles its own deliveries instead of using those flashy new apps. And it's proud of it.

Dough-to-door delivery happens under the Domino's brand... Meanwhile, McDonald's, Starbucks, and Chipotle use third-party delivery apps DoorDash, Uber Eats, or Postmates, with aggressive discounts to lure new eaters. That delivery outsourcing can cut costs and boost sales. But Ritch has problems with it:

• Quality: DoorDash's gig workers won't treat the pizza with the same love and care as Domino's faithful deliverers would.
• Fees: Uber Eats would snag 15%-30% of each order, and that adds up.
• Data: Postmates won't share key info about the orderer with Domino's. So Ritch won't give up data to "some third party who will ultimately use it against us."

• Meaty: Walmart will jump into the beef business with an "end-to-end" cow-to-mouth supply chain
• Deconstructed: Caterpillar falls 4% on warnings it's facing new construction competition in China
• Clean: Bumble's artificial intelligence can now detect (and block) bottomless (and topless) pics in the app
• Un-shocking: Boeing profits fall 21% because of its 737 Max grounding drama
• Stay: Airbnb jumps into streaming video to hook travelers (it already has a magazine)

• Earnings from Ford, Comcast, Intel, and Starbucks
• Turkey's central bank announces interest rate changes

Disclosure: An author of this Snacks owns shares of Tesla and Lululemon.