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The JPMorgan Machine: America's largest bank handles whatever is thrown at it

The JPMorgan Machine: America's largest bank handles whatever is thrown at it

Bank robbery

JPMorganChase’s 2021 acquisition of Frank, a student finance planning platform, seemed like a great deal at the time, until it recently found out that nearly 4 million of the site’s 5 million-strong userbase didn’t exist.

The bank discovered that its hot, student-helping startup, which came with a $175m price-tag, had vastly overinflated its scale after they sent marketing emails to customers and ~70% bounced back. Jamie Dimon, the JPMorgan CEO who’s in Switzerland for Davos '23, said the acquisition was a “huge mistake”.

The JPMorgan machine rolls on

However, while the "Frank fraud" has dominated headline mentions for the nation's largest lender, JPM’s earnings report from Friday suggests that, whilst a lawsuit is underway, the bank won’t be losing too much sleep over the botched deal.

JPM reported a whopping $37.7bn net income figure for 2022, taking the company's total profits over the last 15 years — a cycle that's seen global financial meltdowns, recessions and a pandemic — to more than $370bn.

The secret sauce is that JPM doesn't rely too heavily on any one business. When it's boom time, the investment banking division thrives. When times are leaner, the bank’s proficiency in the boring-but-robust aspects of the job — providing bank accounts and credit cards, for instance — picks up the slack. Right now for example, JPM is a beneficiary of the rising interest rates that we’ve heard (and written) so much about, even as dealmaking and corporate activity slow.

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Paramount reportedly receives $24 billion from Gulf funds to back its Warner Bros. takeover

Three Middle East sovereign wealth funds have agreed to back Paramount’s takeover of Warner Bros. Discovery to the tune of roughly $24 billion, according to Wall Street Journal reporting.

The company’s triumph over Netflix in the bidding war came thanks in part to financial backing from Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison, billionaire father of Paramount CEO David Ellison.

Saudi Arabia’s PIF, which last year led the $55 billion deal to take Electronic Arts private, will provide about $10 billion in the deal. The Qatar Investment Authority and Abu Dhabi’s L’imad Holding Co. is also involved.

According to the WSJ, the funds will not receive voting rights in the combined Paramount-Warner company. Those working on the deal don’t expect the Gulf funds’ involvement to spark any additional regulatory reviews.

The company’s triumph over Netflix in the bidding war came thanks in part to financial backing from Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison, billionaire father of Paramount CEO David Ellison.

Saudi Arabia’s PIF, which last year led the $55 billion deal to take Electronic Arts private, will provide about $10 billion in the deal. The Qatar Investment Authority and Abu Dhabi’s L’imad Holding Co. is also involved.

According to the WSJ, the funds will not receive voting rights in the combined Paramount-Warner company. Those working on the deal don’t expect the Gulf funds’ involvement to spark any additional regulatory reviews.

The entrance of Allbirds seen from Hayes St. in San Francisco, Calif.

Allbirds, the once buzzy multibillion-dollar sneaker startup, is selling up for $39 million

That’s less than 1% of its peak market cap about four years ago.

Tom Jones3/31/26
business

JetBlue is raising its bag fees as fuel costs squeeze airlines

JetBlue will reportedly hike its bag fees, as the cost of jet fuel continues to climb amid the war in Iran. It’s the latest example of carriers finding ways to push rising costs onto travelers.

Last week, United Airlines CEO Scott Kirby said that if fuel prices remain elevated, fares would need to rise another 20% for his airline to break even this year.

As CNBC reported, when one airline raises fees, others tend to follow.

Earlier this month, JetBlue hiked its first-quarter outlook for operating revenue per seat mile to between 5% and 7%, saying that strong Q1 demand helped “partially offset additional expenses realized from operational disruptions and rising fuel costs.” Now, the carrier appears to be making moves to further boost revenue to offset those costs.

Earlier on Monday, JetBlue rival Alaska Air lowered its Q1 profit forecast. The refining margins for the carrier’s cheapest fuel option — sourced from Singapore and representing about 20% of Alaska’s overall supply — have spiked 400% since February.

JetBlue did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

As CNBC reported, when one airline raises fees, others tend to follow.

Earlier this month, JetBlue hiked its first-quarter outlook for operating revenue per seat mile to between 5% and 7%, saying that strong Q1 demand helped “partially offset additional expenses realized from operational disruptions and rising fuel costs.” Now, the carrier appears to be making moves to further boost revenue to offset those costs.

Earlier on Monday, JetBlue rival Alaska Air lowered its Q1 profit forecast. The refining margins for the carrier’s cheapest fuel option — sourced from Singapore and representing about 20% of Alaska’s overall supply — have spiked 400% since February.

JetBlue did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

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